Pirates
by Eastern Apple
Summary: One of the few things that everyone needs to know on 'How to not Get Killed by Wheeljack' is to not be near him when he's working in the lab. You would've thought that Jazz, having died, and the twins, both idiotic in their plans for world domination, would've not bring Epps to that very lab where a very cranky engineer lives. They'll all learn the hard way.
1. Half a League

**A/N: Hey guys, so I decided to post this a little earlier than planned...so, here it is! Anyways...here it is! How _wonderful..._**

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CHPT 1: Half a league

* * *

 **I would like to know, why you thought this was a good idea.**

 _Um...Would 'I was bored' suffice?_

 **No.**

* * *

 _In this Episode of Space Brigade.. wrong series...oops. Wheeljack makes an invention._

* * *

"This is suppose to do _what_ again?" Sideswipe looked over Wheeljack's shoulder, his twin brother on the other side. Jazz was on the other side of the table, watching with rapt attention to the tiny little device that Wheeljack was building because currently, he was on light duty since he got resurrected. Well, tiny for their standards, for a human it would likely be as big as a cow.

"Space bridge." Wheeljack said offhandedly, not really explaining anything due to his concentration. He was a little sorry for how rude he was, but that couldn't be helped.

It was a delicate operation, one where he prefered not to have any distraction. In fact, Optimus even said not to bother him. One wrong move could destroy him, the lab and the universe itself. There was no room for failure. None at all.

It did not help that the Twins had decided to hang around him for the day. On their own discretion, no less. Those two liked to either stay in their quarters all day or slack off in the rec room. Maybe even play a prank or two and spend the next days in the brig, making everyone hate them.

But frankly, the brig was just a roped off area in a hanger with automatic shock-balls that shooted randomly during the duration of the punishment. This actually made the bots happy, as they had entertainment on their off time. Shock-balls were the ingenious idea of one of the organics that lived on the planet.

Wheeljack was sure the organic currently on Sideswipe's shoulder name was 'Epps', but he was quite sure as why would an organic name its offspring after a sound.

Anyways, shock-balls are brightly coloured paintballs in optic-blinding colours that delivered nasty little shocks, enough not to hurt them, but enough to surprise them. The paint was also a quick-dry and took forever to come off.

The twins hated this 'brig' for very different reasons.

But they liked the organic who gave him the idea.

Huh, go-figure.

Back on topic, building space bridges were a specialised task, one that took many vorns of schooling. Expensive schooling. Each 'bot had to have a certain frame, the right processor and many other qualities that if a noble found a gamma walking around in a slum with over half of the attributes required, they'll fund that 'bot if they get 25 percent of the share they make.

Its why Nobles were both liked and hated by many.

And that, kids, is how assholes were born. No seriously, nobles and the mechs they fund are all assholes.

Space bridges were delicate machinery, as said before. They could destroy universes, and if that one guy...what's-his-face...didn't make a time machine, they would've all been dead before the first wire was cut!

Even the 'ittle squishies that somehow survived an ice age when large reptilians could not. Seriously, how cool would it be to meet dinosaurs? Dinosaurs that could talk and do stuff together! Like, a whole little system?

Honestly, after this, he's building some dinos. He didn't know where the last ones went...Porto Rico, maybe? Or was it the planet Pitro Roci, they sound the same anyways.

As for space bridges, Wheeljack was qualified as a scientist, an inventor, a demolitions expert, medic, fireman (That's what organics say), poisonous gasses expert, so many more. Sadly, he was not, nor will ever be, a space bridge technician.

Sure, he was _this_ close to becoming one, but sadly, it didn't interest him at all back them.

Stupid naive younger Wheeljack…

But Optimus trusted this duty to him, and he will fulfil it to the best of his abilities! Ratchet can wrench him in the afterlife if he screws up! Wait...that doesn't sound pleasant. Plus he can always comm. Bulkhead if he needed help, he almost graduated! As organics say 'a hell-a lot better than him'!.

Wait...He's currently on some red planet like Mars or sitting around on Cybertron drinking his spark out, the lazy slob. Plus comms. don't go that far...still screwed.

Screwed as the bolts in his behind.

"Cool." Sunstreaker nodded, seeming generally interested. Not a whole lot, but it was like a kid learning how to do their favorite subject in school or something while still trying to be a badass dumb jock. For Sunstreaker, that subject would be 'how to kill a mini-bot without Prowl or Jazz or Ratchet or Prime or anybody finding out'.

"Where are we supposed to go?" Epps, the dark organic asked, "Pluto?"

"No." Wheeljack all but growled as he screwed in the last bolt. "Cybertron."

"Cybertron? But isn't that place gone?" Dark squishy inquired, looking lost as the normally happy mech was acting pisser than Sunstreaker on a bad day, annoyed by his brother and had his paint scratched one too many times.

"Yes 'nd no, Epps." Jazz spoke, "see, cybertron kinda hard ta destroy. There's metal stronger than wha' 'hide's cannons could destroy, so it's still standin'."

"Seriously? That's good news." Epps beamed, as bright as it-he could. Gotta start working on those gender pronouns Wheeljack...remind him in a couple of days when he's _not fragging working!_

"Yep, dat means Boss can finally start workin' on gettin' some reinforcements, cuz we aren't up in range of tha' nearest outpost." Jazz smirked.

"It also means _I_ need to test _this_ soon." Wheeljack growled, a little more than pissed, as he held up the device he hadn't recharged in days for. Granted, he was still on Cybertron time and didn't really get into the whole '24 hours a day' thing yet.

"Really?" Sideswipe also looked interested, but thats most likely for the brownies points he'll get when he says he 'helped'.

"Can we come?" It seemed Jazz was also looking to tally up more brownie points.

Wheeljack debated. On one servo, if he was to mess up, he could blame these three for the distraction they would cause. Good, that's one pro… Cons; Death, destruction, failure, dismantlement by Ratchet…

Was he a pessimist or what?

Against his better judgement, and the most useful weapon known to the galaxy, (Henceforth known as the name 'puppy eyes')he finally spoke, "Alright." Three automotive robotic organisms and one homosapien cheered, a yellow fist accidentally knocking into Wheeljack's shoulder, which started a chain reaction.

Since the octan coloured race car was running on fumes, his arm twitched, causing a massive shudder go through his build, making him lose hold of the very compact and very, very, _very_ dangerous space bridge, making said box drop to the ground.

It was silent for a few seconds as the five residents looked at each other in unmasked horror before it imploded then exploded.

Yes, imploded and exploded are not the same, imploded means 'caving in at an exponential rate' and exploded means **BOOM!**

Two completely different things.

But, alas, this is not a dictionary, so 'Compact space bridge went **BOOM!** ' might sound better to feeble minds.

Stupid organics…

After the space bridge decided that it would make explode, it made a large cloud of soot that had them all wheezing and coughing. When the smoke finally cleared, what surprised them was not the 30-some blocky-looking cybertronians standing around, looking at them like they were either A) prized animals ready to be slaughtered or B) with suspicion that Red Alert would be proud of.

No, it was that they were _**NO LONGER IN THE FRAGGING LAB!**_

The only sound that came that was hearable in the diameter of about 5 miles was "huggggggghhh…" That sound came from the one and only Sideswipe, the pit spawn.

Wheeljack was fuming on the inside, glaring down at the ground where the remnants of the tiny space bridge was charred.

Jazz raised his servos in the air, "We surrender..?" All was quiet for a few moments before one of the more dark coloured bots raised his pistol, red visor gleaming.

In a voice that sounded, _exactly_ liked Jazz's, he said loud and clear, "Autobots don't take prisoners." At that, they began shooting. Both at them and the more friendlier looking bots.

Sideswipe screeched in alarm, the bullets bouncing off his hardened armour as he moved to protect the tiny organic situated on his shoulder. Sunstreaker snarled and moved to cover his twin, mainly from the weirdos in the dark colours and maybe the other nutjobs in the lighter colors.

Jazz had already sprung up a huge shield that sadly, wasn't big enough to cover the twins as they were both taller than the inventor and the SpecOps leader. Wheeljack just stood there, not moving, not bothering to listen to the mass destruction that was going on.

"'Jackie, might be a good time for one of ye bombs!" Jazz growled to the inventor behind him. Ratchet would not like how low he was at, holding onto the device that made the shield, 'too taxing' he would say. "'Jackie!"

"WHEELJACK!"

"FRAG OFF, I AM MOURNING MY HARD WORK!" Wheeljack screeched in answer to Sideswipe's yell when he wasn't responding. A few blocky mechs paused in their shooting, listening in. It was mainly the weirdos, but there were a few nutjobs.

"I don't care if you lost your fragging leg, THROW ONE OF YOUR DAMN BOMBS YOU GLITCHED WRECKER!" Sunstreaker growled, acting like a lion that was ready to slaughter every single person in existence because he could. Or like Megatron on a good day, whichever you prefer.

"Fine, fragit!" Reaching into his subspace, Wheeljack pulled out a homemade, very destructive and most likely not-going-to-work bomb before popping the top and throwing it over to the weirdos. "There, ya happy?" A loud explosion and mechs yelling in surprise as Wheeljack gestured with his hands in the directed area.

"Marginally." Jazz murmured before Epps was dumped into the tight space between the silver body of the silver solstice and the device holding up the shield that was the size of a car. "Now, keep throwing."

With the extra load gone, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe jumped into the fray, blades of Carbon Platinum Lead enforced Cybertronium edged Magnum with hollars of glee and rage.

"Just don't hit Sunny and Sides."

"One thing at a time." Wheeljack glowered before someone yelled out a retreat. As the weirdos backed off, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe let out yollars of challenge, one pretty much saying in gladiator language, 'COME BACK HERE YA **PUSSY** '. Jazz let down the shield and scooped a whing Epps into his arms.

Apparently, Epps was becoming a sponge when it comes to destruction that the twins cause.

One of the nutjobs walked forward, "Thank you for your involvement in stopping the Autobots." He was large and had a sterling silver paintjob with blue optics.

"Yeah! We would've been toast!" A seeker, if the wings were anything to go by, bounced over before looking behind the sabotaged and the Pi-oed inventor. "Are those two alright?"

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were currently grappling with each other, laughing and creating unneeded dents in their armour.

"Yah, they'll just beh as high as a seeker on high grade for ah bit." Jazz waved him off. "They'h need to get it outta their system."

"Oh, alright." The seeker seemed slightly apprehensive about that, as if he didn't really believe them. "Anyways-"

"What are your designations?" The sterling silver bot asked, a decepticon symbol displayed squarely on his chest.

"Ah'm Jazz, that's Wheeljack, those are the twins, Sunstreaker in the gold and Sideswipe in the silver and this is Robert Epps!" Jazz held out the human in his servos after introducing each of the autobots. "Say hi Epps!"

"Hi."

The nutjobs all looked at them like they were going to kill them any second now. Or kill Epps in front of their very optics.

"Jazz?"

"Yeah little guy?"

Epps looked up at Jazz's visored face, "I think they're scared of you. Like, scared that you'll murder them in your sleep or something like that."

Jazz tilted his helm, "Well Ah _have_ done that before."

"JAZZ!"

"Wha', I dun't lie ta ya little man." Jazz placed the army guy on his shoulders. "Ain't very heroic of meh, huh?"

"You died." Sideswipe popped in behind Jazz, scaring the ever living daylights out of the nutjobs.

Jazz pointed a finger in Sideswipe's face, "Heroic-ly."

"Still died." Sunstreaker said, from the other side, making a few trigger-happy mechs point guns at him.

"Can we _stop_ talking about how Jazz _died_ and tell me **HOW THE PIT WILL YOU FIX THIS!** " Wheeljack screeched, gesturing to the charred remains of the space bridge. Wheeljack, as a very nice, joyful character, was still mad that someone had bumped into him. "I did _not_ work on this for _48_ _ **days**_ for you guys to destroy it when it's dropped!"

Wheeljack stalked over to Jazz and pointed a servo in his faceplate, "So you're the superior officer, _you tell me what I'm suppose to do!_ "

"...Fix it?" Jazz shrugged, looking slightly scared for his life as he silently passed Epps to Sideswipe under his arm.

"Fix it." Wheeljack said slowly, a glare rivaling Ratchet's on his face, "Fix it you say. **HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN IT'S A HOLE IN THE GROUND!** There's nothing left!

"Optimus told me to have to done by _today_ and I-"

"Wait, Optimus?" A random grunt from the on looking Nutjobs asked, interrupting Wheeljack's little speal.

Wheeljack turned his glare to the robot who spoke, "Yes, Optimus. Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, Matrix bearer, that Optimus."

Sterling silver guy spoke up, "The leader of the Autobots is Optronix, not this 'Optimus Prime'."

* * *

Megatronus Prime looked on as the faceplates of the imposters gained a level of horror. It seemed that they had either misplaced this information or never knew of it at all. Starscream stood behind him, slightly scared as he watched the 'Sunstreaker', a nice golden bot that actually stood up to the name and 'Sideswipe', a silver bot, look at each other before speaking over some sort of bond.

Erratically, if the really jerky movements of their arms swinging wildly in gestures that spoke words.

'Wheeljack' had frozen, looking like a deer in the headlights. He was just ranting about how this 'Space Bridge' had been destroyed after hours of hard work, but now he hadn't uttered a peep.

And finally, 'Jazz', who was currently trying to calm down a surprised dark-skinned male organism by the name of 'Epps'. He looked quite angry for not knowing something.

Megatronus mused, they were nothing like their names.

Jazz was a black and blue porsche with a knack for destroying very important stuff, killing many in the process. He had no humour, other than a sick twisted one, and loved to play riddles. He had the same accent as this 'Jazz', but unlike the imposter, Jazz was never relaxed, cool or as content in his own frame as this 'Jazz'. Plus, he despised any type of living being, and if this 'Jazz' was anything to go by, it was that he loved the tiny homospaiens.

Wheeljack was an inventor and his inventions always worked; time bombs. He invented weapons that always did everything they were suppose to. He was sadistic, maniacal and enjoyed watching Ratchet take apart prisoners. He was always murmuring under his breath about upgrades, updates or simply singing a very disturbing song. He was never a 'wrecker', whatever that was, and often never came out onto the field.

This Wheeljack seemed to not be in character, if the faces of the 'Twins' were anything to go by. He seemed to have inventions that also worked, but with the many scars on his faceplate, that was an unlikely story. And when he threw that bomb, it looked slightly like a human toaster oven…

Megatronus looked to the ground. Yes, it was a toaster oven.

Sideswipe was a pale blue and had chunks missing from his frame and armour, not in perfect working condition like 'Sideswipe'. Sideswipe was quick to anger and often got into fights. Every little sarcastic comment went over his head and he thought very literal. He always had a blank face-plate and the only emotion it ever had was sadistic glee. Unlike 'Sideswipe', he had never been a gladiator, nor needed some cool-down time from a rush.

(That roar, if anyone knew what it meant, was pretty damn repulsive. It called the other bot any name in the book)

Sunstreaker did not live up to his name, being black and purple. His favorite weapons were chains and had scratches everywhere and did not upkeep his frame like he should. He was lazy, a slob, but he was polite. He had the patience of an Alpha and the humor of a glitch-mouse. He was the ringleader in a little group that often did the most damage in battles. Many thought that he would be a Decepticon if not for his brother.

Megatronus already liked this 'Sunstreaker' better. The golden armour that looked like it was just painted and the narrowed look he gave almost everyone. The swords were a nice touch, but no one ever uses them.

"What do yah mean, 'Optronix' is the leader of the Autobots?" 'Jazz' finally spoke, cupping 'Epps' in his servos like a bird.

"Just that," Megatronus addressed 'Jazz'. "And I do not know where you got how he is a Prime, as I bear the Matrix of Leadership.

"I am Megatronus Prime."

More looks of horror before 'Sideswipe began laughing, falling over his wheeled peds(Just what are those _for_ ). The group looked at their fallen comrade.

"Ol' Megs is a Prime!AHAHAHAH!" 'Sideswipe laughed, kicking around in a circle. "Jackie sent us to a different dimension! BWAHAHA!"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" 'Wheeljack' yelled to the sky.

'Sunstreaker' gave an evil look and punched his servos together, "Hey Jazz..?"

'Jazz' looked at the sunny warrior, not bothered on how murderous he looked, "Yep?"

"Does this mean I can punch mini-bots and not get punished for it?" On second thought, Megatronus thought this one fitted _right_ in with the Autobots if not for his optic blinding color.

'Jazz' gave 'Sunstreaker' a funny look, "Tha's the first thing ya think about…" the yellow warrior looked at him, "But yeah, sure. Paint them neon while ye at it."

"WOOOOHOO!" 'Sideswipe jumped up, "C'mon Sunny, lets find their base and raid it!" This Sideswipe was a hyperactive ball of metal. Dangerous metal.

'Sunstreaker' growled, "Don't call me Sunny."

"Cheer up Sunshine." The organic snickered before he got into the air. A few of the army raised the weapons, after lowering them for a fraction.

"Primitive organic." Sunstreaker snarled.

"Giant trash can." Epps snarked back, ignoring the fact his shirt was pinched between claws, _CLAWED?!,_ digits.

"Flesh bag."

"Automotive malfunction."

"Your creator is a hamster!"

"At least my liked me!"

"Buuuuuuuuuuuurrrn~" Sideswipe whispered.

"Sideswipe!" Sunstreaker snapped, continuing when Sideswipe gave a confused look, "We're twins ditwit."

"Yeah, but it was still a good burn." It seemed that these 'Twins' had completely disregarded them as a threat...seriously. The faceplate on 'Jazz' seemed to be saying the same thing, as if it was normal.

'Wheeljack' still had not said anything other than that last outburst to the sky and was currently glaring at it, looking inside himself for some odd reason.

"Uhhh…." Starscream spoke up behind Megatronus, still crouched in fight-or-flight stance. All but Wheeljack's eyes snapped towards him, "So you are autobots?"

The twins looked at each other, as if contemplating the idea. 'Jazz' nodded, smiling. Starscream trembled, "Are you going to kill us?"

"Pit no!" Sideswipe yelled, startling them all, "'Cause, judging by what that blue and black bot said about autobots not taking prisoners and that Ol' Meggsy is a Prime," At this, Megatronus felt a murderous vibe in his processor, but that might just be a glitch… "I think you might be the good guys! Good guys always win! Right Jazz?"

Jazz tapped his clawed, _what is with the claws?!_ , digits against his cheek, "I wouldn't say we're exactly **good** per say.."

"Yes, Sides, good guys always win." Sunstreaker deadpanned, smacking his servo to his face and pulling it down in the same movement.

"See! Plus, it's not like you're **Starscream** -" Sideswipe continued, seeing how Starscream jumped behind Megatronus. "Wait- you're designation _is_ Starscream?" Starscream nodded, cowering behind Megatronus, giving the warlord wings.

"We are switching them out." Jazz said, after a few long seconds of wide, blue optics staring at the seeker.

"Agreed." The organic raised its little servo.

"Sweet Primus," Wheeljack had finally paid attention, "It's not screechy…"

"...The world is ending…" Sunstreaker muttered in horror, hand raised slightly, as if getting ready to point.

Megatronus wondered, what was their Starscream like, if they had this reaction to the smaller seeker.

Starscream was a great second in command, always giving input to plans when needed. He was light and fast on his feet, almost always doing three or more things at the same time. The seeker was brightly colored in whites, blues and reds, becoming a little more patriotic by adding a blue star, the union jack, a maple leaf, a fleur de lis, the nordic cross and many others on his wings for their human comrades. So much so that it was just a giant collage of world symbols, all but terrorist organisations and religious symbols. He loved the smaller organic versions of themselves and would often spend every moment available with them. Granted, he was a coward, but that's just life skills trying to keep him alive.

But they want to switch him out, "I cannot allow you to do that, autobots." Primus, it sounded _wrong_ to call them that, they weren't, as humans say it, _blood thirsty_. They couldn't take _Starscream._

"Chill, mech, we weren't serious." 'Jazz' help his servos up, still doing that _primus awful smirk._ It was so irritating, yet…

"Yep! 'Cause the only reason I wanna hit _our_ Starscream is because of his voice!" Sideswipe brightly smiled before grimacing, "If you heard nails on a chalkboard, it's about a bajillion times worse!"

"Plus he's a backstabbing son of a glitch." Sunstreaker inputted, unhelpfully. Wheeljack nodded while the other two just looked amused. "Tried to kill Megatron a few too many times."

"Did my other self have a death wish?!" Starscream shuddered in horror, couldn't imagine himself doing that. He liked Megatronus, and couldn't possibly believe that the other him was so foolish to get himself kille-

"Yeah, it's a wonder why Megsy didn't offline him yet."

-d. Apparently he is still alive, _greeeeeaaat._

"Maybe he likes him?"

"Nah…"

The twins looks at each other with identical grins of mischievousness and glints in their optics. Please, Primus, keep them away from _everyone._

* * *

 _Next Episode; The Nemesis and Optronix needs to learn that, no, recruiting a bright yellow sociopath is not how you win a war._

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 **A/N: So, how was that? I've taken some liberties with the whole 'Wheeljack' thing, but you'll see what happens!**

 **If anyone has any ideas for different worlds they should travel to, please tell me!**

 **Magic Out!**


	2. Onwards!

**A/N: Please note, this is the first time that I am adding musing between dialogue after the introduction. Because of this, lets just say I most likely ramble worst than Bluestreak...yeah, that bad. If anyone has any ideas on how I can improve and/or stop the rambling, that'd be great. Oh, and a little warning, I've sorta maybe...okay, rambled on too much about a certain 'bot in this chapter and made them seem too great, I hope to fix that...hopefully.**

 **Thanks to all the reviewers!**

 **Darkwalk12: Thank you! As for how they get home, you'll find out and next chappy you'll find out what Ratchet will do with them!**

 **2211Nighthawk: I'm glad that you like it! (ps, can I say how much I adore your works, or is that a little too much butt-kissing..?)**

 **nique17: Thanks!**

 **BervityWit(Guest): Thanks for saying that the liberties were a good idea, or pretty much saying that I wasn't exactly stupid with the whole Wheeljack thing. ('cause to be frank, I thought that either people were going to yell at me that Wheeljack doesn't exist in the 'Movie verse' or screaming with joy, both scare me). Yes, they'll stay within the transfomers community (X-men, anyone? haha-no) because if not, then that'll make it a cross-over and I kinda want it to stay right where it is. As for Optronix, you'll definitely see him getting taken down a peg. And Megatronus Prime is a little bit like Optimus, but...you'll see. (Is it sad that I had to look up shanghaied meant and still only get it a little bit? Hopefully you'll find out...) As for TFA, I already have an idea (Be afraid)**

CHPT 2: Onwards

* * *

 _Look, they are getting along!_

 **They are going to kill each other, but if that's what you call getting along, then fine by me.**

* * *

 _Onto the next episode, where Optronix is delusional!_

* * *

"This, is the Nemesis." Megatronus showed them the large vessel currently situated in the middle of a mountain. Jazz noticed it was large, large enough to hold a shuttle former so that the said former could have space above its head and room so that his wings did not bang on the walls.

All in all, tall enough that it would look like a warehouse to Prime, Optimus Prime that is.

Or ether prime, doesn't really matter. They're both about the same height. meaning they were a slag load taller than Jazz.

Curse his height! It made things worst for him when he got captured, people almost stepped on him for his small si-

Ohhh! _Vents_ ~

Never mind, he quite enjoyed his small size. Made him more 'down to earth'. Plus he had the best alt mode outta all of the autobots! Ground pounders for the win! Stupid Sideswipe for taking his silver…

At least he still had his visor-

...frag. This is stupid guy needs to die…

Jazz nudged Wheeljack, "Thirty bucks the guy with the visor is Soundwave."

Wheeljack gained a smirk and the friendly tint to his optics returned. He leaned down, "Deal." He leaned back up and pretend that nothing happened. That's what Jazz liked about the inventor, he was easy to forgive and forget.

Hence why he's in Ratchet's medbay more often than not. That mech doesn't learn.

Jazz grinned and discreetly looked around, looking for panels that were loose, memorising the places of the vents and doors, exits and entrances, placements of cameras and the odd little thing that shouldn't really matter but interested him.

Such as pretty much everyone looked happy until they saw the Autobot insignia on them then started to scamper off.

Sideswipe tried to greet each one differently, but they would all scream and run away, leaving a poor Sideswipe who only wanted to make friends. When they got closer to wherever they were going, Sideswipe's greetings slowed to a stop and would only give a heart-filled glance of remorse to any passing 'cons.

Sadly, that did more bad than good.

Jazz had also counted a total of eighteen mechs who tried to get Epps away from the 'deadly autobot'. Gratefully, Sunstreaker stepped up and growled at the offending decepticon.

Of those eighteen, four of them were brave enough to try and get past Sunstreaker. Meggsy two-point-oh intervened before anything could get that out of hand. It helped that there were about 6 decepticons surrounding them, but the way they were acting was that they were prisoners without the status.

Jazz was pretty sure that Soundwave, a bright red and blue cassette holder, felt slightly sorry for Sideswipe; he did have the maturity level of a sparkling after all. Plus he seemed so affected by the put off attitude of the 'cons.

The silver SpecOps mech was sure that Siders would bounce back. It is just the yellow warrior that would be on a man hunt. For whom, everyone.

"And this, this is the rec room." Megatronus said, giving everyone a large berth as they viewed the silver-colored room. Everyone stopped and stared at them, the eighteen mechs that tried to take Epps away were all frozen in fear.

"Decepticons, these are autobots from a different dimension." The sterling lord nodded towards the four mechs.

There was only silence.

"Wow, ah feel _sooo_ loved." Jazz murmured and took up a smirk and made it so he looked like he was relaxed.

"Shut up Jazz." Sunstreaker growled, glaring mainly at the four who tried to get past him. A few of the 'cons jumped at the growl. And blatant disrespect for a mech with the name 'Jazz'.

"Now, Sunny," Jazz ignored the glare directed at him, "I could take away ya rights to hit the mini-bots." Jazz gave a smug undertone, but was completely serious.

"You wouldn't" Sunstreaker growled. Jazz knew that for him, it was the only good thing that came of this, being able to hit the mini-bots. Mini-bots for them were classified as bots that were smaller or as small as him.

"He would!" Robert piped up from the front liner's shoulder. Many of the decepticons looked at the black man who was sitting contently, without any fear, on the most ferocious autobot of the glared for a few more seconds before pulling back and directing his Glare of Sunny © at the rec room.

Megatronus gave the autobot version of clearing his throat, "In their dimension, they are doing the exact same thing as we are; protecting other species." He gave a stern look to everyone, "I expect everyone to welcome them as if they were one of our own. Granted, if they do step out of line and are lying about everything they said, I give you a permission to shoot them."

"If I accidently blow something up, it is not my fault!" Wheeljack piped up, raising a servo. "I have a _really_ bad habit of that." He grinned sheepishly.

"And who are you!" A yellow jet with a cone for a helm stood up and asked, slamming his servos down on the table as he did so. "How are we supposed to trust you if we don't know your designations!"

Jazz felt as if this guy was a watered-down version of Cliffjumper. And if everyone has the opposite personality...Why hello~ Dirge~.

Wheeljack grinned, a bright smile that he was renowned for. "Well, I'm Wheeljack! Inventor and accidental explosion expert!"

"How accidental?" A white and purple jet asked, looking as paranoid as...well, he acted like Thundercracker, pretty much. So, Skywarp it is.

It was Megatronus who spoke up, with all seriousness. "He used a human 'Toaster Oven' as a bomb."

"Ah...that was suppose to make, uh, my version of a high-tech Easy Bake…" Wheeljack grinned sheepishly, "As you can see...it, um, didn't work out so well…I think there was still some burnt residue still left in it…"

"YOU STOLE THE TOASTER FROM THE BARRACKS!?" Epps yelled, betrayed.

"Toaster _oven_." Wheeljack corrected, "And it wasn't like anyone was using it."

"Fig was using that to make bad versions of A la mode, spanish style." Epps gave a disapproving look at him. "There was...I don't even know what was in there."

"Didn't Sam put energon in there once?" Sunstreaker asked his brother, still sullen. Sideswipe only nodded.

"And you three?" The white and purple jet prompted, looking like he believed them, only slightly.

"I'm Sunstreaker, that pile of mush is my brother Sideswipe." Sunstreaker pointed to his brother, who was still gloomy. "Apparently, he wasn't given any greeting into the base."

"Sunnnnnny~" Sideswipe whined, "You should kiss it better!" Sideswipe tried to jump his brother, bounced back from the whole 'NO ONE WOULD GREET ME' fase.

"Frag no! Don't scratch the paint!" Sunstreaker backed off, "SIDESWIPE!" He roared as Sideswipe smiled and ran, no, skated off, having a pissed off sunflower after him.

"Ah'm Jazz and I should pro'oly stop 'em." Jazz gave a two finger salute and raced off after the twins, trying to grab an screaming in delight Epps, ignoring the voice of a surprised and suddenly alone Wheeljack. Jazz knew where he was going, the terrorised voices of Decepticons in the hallways and the loud voices of the front liners.

He didn't know what to think of all this, this was surreal. There was nothing that ever indicated that _this_ was a possible outcome. he would've expected them to become slag, or maybe non-existent after the 'Drop the Space Bridge' deal.

But what he did know was the whole thing with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Sideswipe wanted to explore, and this was the best way, also, to scare the parts off of everyone. The silver warrior was slightly insane, when it comes to his ideas, at least.

Seriously, painting Ratchet lime green?

That backfired really badly, so now to spite everyone, he kept that color.

Jazz shudders to even think of it.

Sunstreaker also knew about his brother's insane plans, and was smarter to not do them. Sadly, he joins in because of some honor bound code that the two of them came up when they were sparklings. Sunstreaker was known as the more volatile of the twins, almost as explosive and just as reckless as Ironhide when it comes to mechs.

But Jazz knew that Sunstreaker was the more careful out of the two, more wary, more...protective. If that makes sense. Jazz knew that he could trust Sunstreaker not to harm any of the humans, even if the other Autobots went out of their way for a great length of time-

-4 months, 2 weeks and three days if he recalled correctly-

-to keep Sunstreaker away from the humans. Some of the ways were quite funny too, going from needing pointers for fighting(something that everyone regretted in a few rounds), to blantly telling him Prime needed him to go on patrol, even when he just came back from one.

Both the twins and Ratchet were getting slightly P-O'd. Slightly is an understatement. Considerably might've been a better word. Sunstreaker was mad because he didn't understand, Sideswipe was on the same wave length and Ratchet was angry because Sunstreaker was 'over-exerting himself'.

Note to Jazz; Tell Ratchet to lay off.

Jazz to Note; In your dreams.

This stopped when Jazz walked up to Ironhide, snatched Annabelle from him and dropped her (gently, mind you.) into Sunstreaker's palm and told him, with these exact words; "You break her physically or men'ally, Ah will have ya aft."

Sunstreaker then spent the better part of the day growling at anyone who tried to take her back. This included Will, who was in hysterics. He had been told of how dangerous and vain the yellow autobot was.

Even if she was scribbling on his leg with, not known at the time, permanent black marker. But even when he did learn of it, he only shrugged it off.

Jazz was happy to note that he still had those scribbles on his leg armour after all this time, so know that is the only piece of armour that continues to grow in drawings. It's a large piece too. It was practically his whole back bumper.

Sunstreaker is Annabelle's second favorite babysitter after that, right after Ironhide of course. Will, and pretty much everyone, hates that.

Epps finds it hilarious though.

He finds everything hilarious though. He doesn't count.

And that is why Jazz trusts that Sunstreaker would not allow Epps to get squashed by anything, even accidently. Sideswipe knows not to mess with any humans that Sunstreaker has 'adopted'. This encases all humans but, and Jazz can't blame him as he also wants to kill that human, Galloway.

Sure, Sunstreaker complains about their 'squishiness' and their 'oils' and 'disgusting fleshy organisms', but he complains about everything, once he complained about how a light bulb was out in a bright room. He put up a pretty convincing argument on why it should be fixed _that slagging moment_.

Jazz thinks he has OCD with symmetry or something close to that.

And… He is acting like he has a fragging crush on him. Wow… That is seriously messed up. Welp, maybe Sunstreaker will go on a speal about Sideswipe, or Wheeljack. Balance it out a bit, this story ain't all about him.

Wait, what story? Is this all not real? Is he not real? Is he just a pawn in a story created by a teenager who is suppose to be doing chapter questions and not writing the story?

Those are the _real_ questions.

And questions that he just forgot magically. What a coincidence.

Jazz almost crashed into the twins, "WHAT THE FRAG!" He looked at the frozen twins as an Epps climbed all over them.

"I dunno what happened!" Epps said, panicking,"They just froze."

Jazz grabbed the smaller organism from Sunstreaker, "Shouldn't be too bad, right?" Epps nodded grimly.

"Should've have said that man."

As one, the twins turned back to Jazz, "Hatchet called."

* * *

Optronix sat on his throne, regal as always. On the outside, he seemed to be relaxed, ignoring the world around him. That was not the case for him, though. He was thinking about the past battle they had.

It was a major turn around, those slagging decepticons needed to grow some ball bearings. It was 3-1, the Autobots winning. Everything was going to plan, everything was normal, at least, until those, those...slagging pit, he had no idea what to call them!

There was four of them, and one, insignificant squishy, much darker skinned than what he has remembered seeing before at the power plants. Two were a sterling silver, one free of any marks and had wheels- _Wheels!? What would those be used for?!_ , he remembered himself asking- for peds while the other was about as tall as a mini-bot and has a large scar- an obvious weakness-around his middle with a bright blue visor that stretched around his faceplate.

The other two had paint, one a bright, golden yellow with black scribbling on his left leg armour and a surprised look to his face that quickly morphed into a snarl whereas the red, green and predominately white bot stared at the ground the whole time, his frame shaking, as if for the first time in rage.

Then what surprised him was the voice that came out of the smaller silver...mech… as he said that the group surrendered. Jazz told them right off and started to shoot. The only proud moment he had.

The Small Silver, or as SS Optronix shall call him until he has learnt of the designation of the mech, pulled up a large force field that sheltered the white mech, the organic and himself, bending at the middle, which would've hurt like pit as the weld mark was there.

Once Tall Silver, TS, had deposited the fleshy behind the force field, the golden mech had somehow also gained wheeled peds and like bullets, they were off. They were furious, autobot worthy.

TS was taunting, both his army and 'Sunny', as if he was playing a game. The golden mech was almost silent, but the roar of his engines and the growl he made proved otherwise. Each second they got better,faster, stronger. Almost completely ignoring every 'con on the battlefield, as if they knew exactly who needed help and when.

When the golden one smashed into his blade, he saw the feral smirk he gave him. The blade his opponent wielded was made of alloys he did not know of, but it was strong enough not to buckle under his weapon, the strongest metal that could be created.

As each move was met and parred, Optronix knew something; he was enjoying this. This was not a battle of life or death to him, but a game of chance. It shown in his blue optics.

It was not until Optronix saw heard a scream of 'WHEELJACK' -who had decided to stay back at base- from the silver mech, who had not let up any of the strikes as he did so, and a bomb was thrown in the air- _WAS THAT A OVEN?!_ \- did he realise this:

They were screwed.

Optronix bellowed out the command to retreat, and to his surprise, the yellow warrior did not stop advancing until they were out of sight. There was a unspoken rule of retreat; stop attacking when one is even then, TS and the golden mech both roared threats, calling them all cowards if he remembered correctly from the few battles at the pit he saw.

Ratchet was not impressed, nor was Prowl. Ratchet was simply not impressed by how many autobots were in serious condition, with symmetrical cuts on either side of them or their top halves almost ripped to shreds.

Optimus noticed that all the marks created by the golden mech equaled most of the damage on his frame. They were especially bad on his Autobot symbol, even using glyphs of the pits that said 'Unworthy'. What bothered him the most was that his chest was the most protected and the glyphs were only armour deep.

A little more 'umph' and his ember would've been breached.

It was disturbing that the mech would've chose to do this instead.

Prowl was not impressed by the lost, which means more rationing and more paperwork. The SiC never did liked paperwork.

He was the first to get out, as always. So now he was pondering. Why were they here?

They did not look quite like themselves, more streamlined, more shiny. He did not think that they were here on purpose, they appeared out of nowhere and surrendered without a thought. They seemed... _good._

He thought he saw an Autobot symbol on all four of them and one was even sewed into the organic's coat. But they fought their comrades without a second thought. They surrendered without a second thought; they were going against their code.

Optronix shook his helm.

No Autobot would degrade himself enough to have blue optics. That was the color of the decepticons.

Maybe he should change their name, 'Autobot' doesn't sound very scary, but 'Decepticon' does. Maybe he can threatened Megatronus for a name switch…

Back on topic.

The white mech seemed to be more harm than good, SS might be an asset, but with a scar like that, he would be a liability.

It was the TS and the golden mech he kept coming back to.

They were dangerous, cunning, young and mature. They struck fear into the hearts of their enemies, they were assets. They would fit right in. If those two could take him on and live, he was sure that they would be well liked here.

They had short tempers, as many of the bots here had, so they wouldn't take any slag from anyone. They fell back on programming, but could snap out of it at a moment's notice, but continue to fight.

They were not compassionate, they were not kind. He was sure that TS dropped the black organic harshly into the force field, judging by the whimper that escaped the feeble fleshy. They way they tore into his army spoke volumes on how capable they were.

His army could learn a thing or two.

Was it just him, or did they take out the mini-bots a little more harshly?

But if he had Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, both currently in the brig, chained after an assault he was sure they committed, they might've won.

He could see similarities between the Twins and the unknown mechs, so it would not be a stretch to say that the unknown mechs were also twins themselves. It was just not the helm styles, oh so closely resembling each other, but the fighting too.

As far as he knew, the Twins were not pit fighters themselves, but mercenaries. Perhaps they lied...it would not be the first time. Most of the pit fighters, though dangerous and difficult to defeat, went to Prime's side, the Twins likely did not want others to think of them as Decepticons.

Sunstreaker was already halfway there.

' _Sunstreaker'_ Optronix mused, did not live up to his name at all. The mech was dark in coloring, as if a black hole. He blended in, not a streak at all. He was dirty, disgustingly polite. He did not take care of his frame at all. He was a sun that lost its shine.

Alas, he needed those pit fighters on his side. They were savages, it should not be hard to convince them.

How should he go about it, that is the question.

Words never work on pit fighters, but if he sends them to the brig, they would be more unlikely to join him.

A chime from the door brought Optronix out of his musing. He growled, but at least they did not barge in like a certain CMO enjoys all too much.

He rumbled, "Come in."

The three mechs did so without hesitation.

His Second in command, a Praxin that goes by the designation of Prowl, a standing at attention, stiff. Prowl was a character, he was stiff around Optronix when he first came him and watched his words. As he grew more comfortable around the warlord, he began voicing his opinions. He did not mind it, was that he was blunt, often saying things before he could filter them.

Prowl punishes himself when speaks out, so he does not need to do that.

Jazz sauntered him, his visor half cracked from the battle to show one red optic narrowed. Jazz hated everything, music, rhythm, vibrations, order. He did not like anything.

And last was Blaster, a mech he did not often see in his throne room. The orange and blue mech looked at if he should not be here, but the telepath did not trust others completely. It has been a long run trying to get him slightly more comfortable here, but he still acts like a robot instead of a mech.

"What do you want?' Optronix demanded.

Prowl smirked, relaxing minutely, "We have collected data about the last fight, and there are a few suggestions we would like to input."

Optronix leaned back, "Go on."

Jazz shifted, "We found that there are a few screws loose in the larger silver mech and the golden mech. We would like to recruit them to our cause." The accent was no longer there, knowing the warlord was annoyed by it. "They are a lot like us, lord.

"I see. I have been thinking along such lines Jazz." Optronix winced internally as he realised he just acted as if they were in a punishment. They would, if they did not deliver.

"We have sent Steeljaw to uncover more information of the four newcomers, as they had left with the decepticons, that we are aware of," Prowl said, smugly, knowing that Optronix would've ordered the mission anyways, "At the moment, all we know is that the white bot is named 'Wheeljack' and had been a 'wrecker', the two that were fighting on the front lines, the silver and the yellow, were respectively called 'Sides and Sunny'. We have no more infomation on them at the moment."

Prowl seemed agitated that there was no more information to display.

"Add this to 'Sides and Sunny's character report. 'They were successful pit fighters'." The three of them looked shocked.

Prowl bowed, ever the formal. "As you wish, Lord Optronix."

Blaster jolted in his spot, drawing the attention, unwanted, to him. "Steeljaw; on his way back to base. ETA: 20 minutes. Reason: large quantity of data.

Optronix smirked, leaning forward in his throne, elbows on his knees and servos clasped underneath his chin. "Good."

Time to find the best way to recruit these...pit fighters.

"By the way, I feel as if Soundwave should be droning on like that…"

"That's just you, Lord. Ignore those feelings, last time it was Bumblebee being friendly."

"Don't remind me."

"Sorry, sir."

* * *

 _Next chapter, episode...thing, Ratchet wants explanations and yes, humans, Jazz is a big scary 'bot. He will eat your liver._

* * *

 **A/N: So I've decided, even if this is Shattered Glass, no names will be changed (Goldbug...), at least, not until I deem them fit...**

 **Anyways, Optronix is delusional! He does not know the twins at all! Now who wants to see the shock on his face when he finds out!? I do! Any ideas? Any tips? Keep them coming! Any hate mail or flames...ehhhh, free country, so whatever.**

 **I'M OUT,**


	3. Birthday Cake

**A/N: Soo...a little shorter of a chapter... As for the second part...I blame my hands.**

 **Thanks to all the reviewers:**

 **2211Nighthawk: Okay...so the rambling isn't too bad...I breath a sigh of relief even if no one can see it. Thanks!**

 **HeartsGuardianSol: Thanks, and I'd say the toaster bomb is funnier. Easy bake oven anyone?**

 **BervityWit(Guest): ...You really outdo yourself, but thanks! And Megatronus does seem like that, but he did say if they step outta line to shoot them...so I bet some mechs would be trigger happy. As for Ratchet's paint job; he liked the reactions. Plus he wanted to get back at the twins and it seemed like the best way to do so. And for Sunny, he has the 'Guardian' part of the programming. He won't step on any squishies. Sideswipe...he's almost done that by accident...three...dozen times. hehe.**

ONTO THE SHOW!

* * *

CHPT 3: Birthday Cake

* * *

 _Look on the bright side, at least we'll get a show!_

 **This is the worst birthday present. Ever. In the history of all time.**

 _At least you get birthday presents…_

* * *

 _To the next in the series of unfortuna- ahem. Ratchet gives Wheeljack a stern talking too and Ratchet is given a stern talking to. Yeah, doesn't make sense to me either..._

* * *

As one, the twins turned, "Hatchet called."

Immediately, Jazz gulped, well, as best as he could. "How!?" If anyone knew him well enough, there was horror in his voice.

Sunstreaker left the talking to Sideswipe, "Yeah, he caught Wheeljack on the line. Scared the scrap outta all the 'cons. And Wheeljack. Currently… I dunno."

Jazz looked like he was glaring, "And how is that even possible? I thought we were in a different dimension." uh oh, there goes the accent. Shits 'bout to go down.

"Maybe...the airwaves are different here and they aren't used to blocking our frequencies because for some reason, airways can travel over dimensions and the more dimensions we travel, the harder it is for them to contact us…?" Sunstreaker spoke up, making everyone stare at him. A few seconds passed, "Yeah, bad idea. Stupid Sideswipe."

"Hey!"

"No, no, Sunny," Insert Glare _here_. "Tha's a good idea." Jazz agreed, "it sorta makes sense." Yay, accent is _back_. **Great.**

"If we were in the same dimension." Epps pointed out, "I mean, that wouldn't make sense that they could travel dimensions, these 'airwaves'. Would it?"

Airwaves and Frequencies were a fickle thing, they pretty much controlled all of the communication for Cybertronians. Each 'bot had a different one, but can have the same one as another in a group, if the sender is sending both the receivers the same message at the same time. Autobots all have one that groups every contender together, so one bot can send broad messages to every single Autobot out there. The bigger the group 'chat', the more coded it is.

That's not to say that group 'chats' of a smaller caliber aren't that coded, all of Jazz's are coded so much that there's not a single virus about the size of a glitch mouse that could get through that wall.

Sunstreaker knows, it's hard not noticing that computer "Spartans" are attacking you the second you were unwanted.

And since Jazz's single lines are coded so heavily that he doesn't remember all of the traps, now imagine the Autobot 'Base Chat'.

"Good point. Now, do ye know where the rec room is?" Jazz asked the twins.

"What?" Sunstreaker snapped to attention.

Sideswipe continued, "I thought you guys knew." Sunstreaker glared at his brother.

"I was followin' ya two!" Jazz complained, visor darkening.

"I was following Sideswipe!" Sunstreaker complained.

"I was trying not to get killed!" Epps and Sideswipe said at the same time. They paused, looked at each other, then pretended like it never happened. "Blame him!" Both said at the same time.

A few minutes of arguing and Starscream came around the corner, looking worse for wear. Well, just his faceplate said he would rather be doing something else entirely, like not looking for rogue Autobots that they were still not sure if they were going to kill them from the inside.

"Excuse me," Starscream whispered, realising that it was a horrible idea to get between the bots. "Excuse me?" It was louder the second time around, but still quiet and was more of a question than a command.

" _ **EXCUSE ME! SHUT THE FRAG UP!**_ " Starscream finally yelled, sounding a lot like a certain backstabbing glitch that wants to kill Megatron that they know. The autobots shut up so fast and looked at the patriotic bot of many nations like he grew a new head.

"Thank you." Starscream sounded more annoyed, but please that they had finally listened. "Now, the rec room is eight clicks from you and you were running in circles. Wheeljack currently trying to not get himself killed, and I think having his 'bodyguards' would help with that."

"We aren't his bodyguards." Sunstreaker scoffed and crossed his arms like a child who wouldn't get his painting supplies.

"Yeah, Wheeljack can take care of himself." Sideswipe put in unhelpfully, "He'll just blow himself accidently on purpose!"

Jazz hadn't said anything, just stared at Starscream that made the seeker slightly uncomfortable. Then he smiled, "Lead the way then, 'cause we ain't gunna find it if we had direc'ions."

"Or a GPS." Epps said.

As Starscream scoffed and walked past them and lead them towards the Rec Room, Sunstreaker couldn't help but notice that his paint was scratched.

The golden armour was dented and leaks were in place. It was like everyone forgot that they were injured! That just wouldn't do!

Sideswipe was worst off, he was literally drawing shapes on his chassis from his energon leaks to pass the time. That idiot.

At least Sunstreaker can blame everything on him though, that's a good thing. That's a small price to pay for putting up with him, correct? Though the team-killing can't be blamed on him because Sideswipe doesn't team-kill...hey, what people don't know, they won't find out!

Shit, Jazz is a mind reader...paint, paint, paint, mini bot dismantlement, rims, tires, paint, Sideswipe...Yes! Take that you filthy dirtbag!

Oops, Sunstreaker kinda relayed that over the bond…

Do I wanna know? Sideswipe asked over the bond, quirking a metaphorical eyebrow as he chatted happily with Starscream about what the hell/pit was on his wings.

No. Sunstreaker projected over the bond with a growl.

Sideswipe sent a _I don't believe you~_ as he continued chatting, not noticing that Starscream was getting a little more pissed off as the seconds passed.

/ _ **..AND WHEN I DO FIND YOU, I WILL RIP OFF YOUR SENSORS, STRING YOU UP BY YOUR INTERNALS AND BEAT YOU WITH A SPOON! YOU IDIOTIC GLITCHED MOTHERBOARD!**_ / Ratchet's lovely voice yelled out as Wheeljack was running away from a few mechs who were chasing him around, firing off bullets that missed.

"Hatchet! How lovely to hear your voice, my darling!" Sideswipe grinned with mock affection towards the screaming voice as he opened his comm to receive the message.

/ _ **...Sideswipe...when I find you, I will kill you**_ **.** / Ratchet growled, a few mechs stop firing rounds to listen.

"You do that! I love you too snookums." Sideswipe made a few kissy noises, shutting off his comm and snickering.

/ _ **Scratch that. Wheeljack, You just got bumped down the priority list. Sideswipe, I will feed you to the 'Cons.**_ /

"A bit late for that Ratch'" Jazz said, activating his comm as Wheeljack dived behind them. Jazz noticed that they all stopped firing to see what was going on. Soundwave, at least, Sunstreaker thought it was Soundwave, seemed to be typing furiously at a terminal.

/ _ **Jazz! I swear to Primus if you tore those welds...**_ /

"Relax, I didn't." Jazz waved it off, "Stop being a sissybot."

/ _ **Wait, you said you are with the 'cons?**_ / Ratchet finally got caught up with what Jazz had finally said.

"Yep!" Jazz smirked, giving a hand single that pretty much said, play along with it.

/ _ **Jazz! What the Pit! Get outta there! If I find so much as one scratch on Sunstreaker's armour, because if Sideswipe is with you then Sunstreaker is with you, I will reformat you into a trash compactor! Because that's what you are!**_ / Ratchet growled, the snarl evident in his words and Sunstreaker knew that he was waving a wrench wildly around, waiting for any moment to strike.

/ _ **Hey Ratch', Could you fix my canno-OW! What the frag was that for YA GLITCH!**_ / A second voice came over the commlink before a loud clang made it pause.

"You got us on speaker, don't you?" Wheeljack asked.

/ _ **Wheeljack? If ya got ya legs blown off 'gain...**_ /

"Screw off! That happened one time!" Wheeljack proclaimed, darting his head from Jazz's shoulder as if they were in front of them and Jazz was his meat shield. He ducked back behind, pretending that never happened.

/ _ **Of course it's on speaker! There's no other setting for public comms!**_ / Ratchet continued as if the second speaker, who you should all know is Ironhide, and Wheeljack didn't speak. / _ **Now get the frag outta there before they rip you a new one!**_ /

Jazz smirked, "Did I forget to men'ion tha' we're in a differen' dimension and the 'cons are good guys and the 'bots are evil and tryin' ta take over tha' universe?"

Ratchet growled, / _ **if that is the case, Sunstreaker,**_ /

The said goldilocks perked up at his name.

/ _ **You may maim the mini-bots if I don't have to fix 'em.**_ / Sunstreaker grinned, a savage grin that made everyone running for the hills. / _ **Go to town.**_ /

"What about me Ratchet!" Sideswipe whined like a little sparkling, "Don't I get some love too?"

/ _ **...Fine. I'll only wrench you once when you get back.**_ / Ratchet seemed like he was being forlorn when it came to the wrench. Sideswipe visibly deflated.

Sunstreaker put his servo on his brother's shoulder guard, "I'll let you take that black and purple guy built like a tank." Sideswipe looked at Sunstreaker, "Fights like a sissy, but kinda fun. He's not bad, but 'Bee could take him."

"WHAT ARE AUTOBOTS DOING IN THE REC ROOM?" A small, squeaky voice yelled and the four 'Autobots' looked down. Epps also looked down from Jazz's palm.

"Scrap." Sunstreaker deflated, getting ready to turn and run.

"Hey kids-and adult." Epps said from Jazz's servo, waving as they looked up, "Its alright-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN AN AUTOBOT'S HAND?!" The guy who wasn't using a crutch and wasn't about forty yelled.

"Spike-" Starscream tried to explain.

"Technically, its not called a hand, it's called a servo," Wheeljack pointed out, his light indicators flashing. The humans looked at him, "And I should shut up now because I am _not_ helping anyone."

"Good ideah Jackie." Jazz patted the shoulder of his friend. "Let us do theh Talkin'"

"Au-to-bot-s." The kid stressed each syllable as if he was revealing something., "Why aren't you shooting or something?"

"Spike, that is because they are not the Autobots you know and hate." Megatronus told him.

"And if you wanted to be sarcastic-OW! Fraggit, Sunny!" Sideswipe clutched his now aching helm.

"Stop being an Idiot." Sunstreaker told him, "And let Meggys two point oh speak."

Megatronus rumbled, "Do not call me that." Sunstreaker gave the narrowed optics of the sterling silver-war-prime-lord a growl of his own.

/ _ **Wait,**_ **that's** _ **Megatron in that dimension?**_ **/** Ratchet, who was still on the , asked as if he couldn't believe it. Ratchet suddenly scoffed, / _ **Sounds like a pansy.**_ /

The humans flinched at the voice. Megatronus growled, / _ **Granted, Optimus is a pansy, so all Primes must be pansies.**_ / Ratchet continued, ignoring the growl that came from megatronus with ease.

It must be useful to only hear what you wanted to hear.

Sunny; Please learn that, maybe it'll show you that Mini-bots are a bunch of slagtards that don't have a filter and are just jealous of your good looks ~The handsome sunstreaker to himself. PS: Ignore that, because who are you kidding? Yourself?

Somewhere in the background, / _ **I heard that!**_ /

/ _ **YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO, DUMBAFT! Stupid Primes for not getting maintenance checks…*mumble, mumble mumble*... goody goody two peds, putting everyone else before them...**_ /And with that, Ratchet shut off the comm, unknowingly deleting the only way to communicate for a long while.

Jazz looked at Wheeljack, who looked back at him. They both looked at the twins. Sunstreaker glared, "What?" All three of them, well, four, including the human, looked at the other humans before back at him. The sunflower got the idea, "Hell no. I am not good with squishies."

"Say that to Annabelle." Epps suggested, with a glint in his eye and a smirk on his face. Sunstreaker growled lowly and stalked off, moving away from everyone. He grabbed a chair from a nearby table of petrified decepticons and sat down, looking as miserable as the day he learnt that Prowl had as big a sense of humor as an atom.

"Who's Annabelle?" Spike asked, an eyebrow raised.

"NO ONE-"

"A spark-sorry, kid that really likes Sunny-"

"DON'T CALL ME-"

"-And Sunflower likes her to."

Sunstreaker glared the glare of death at the glitch who was interrupting him and making him seem like a fluffy pillow with pink unicorns and sparkly Barbie dolls set on a bedspread of Stars Wars.

Epps smiled back, sticking his tongue for good measure.

* * *

Overhead, in a vent, unnoticed, a black and navy blue lion stalked away, careful not to make any sound.

Wow, Oppy is an idiot, none of them would fit with the autobots. They were too cheerful!

Don't tell him he called Optronix 'oppy'. Oh Primus, he'll kill the small lion-bot!

But the sunshine colored one seemed to be a likely candidate.

Candidate for autobots! Yep!

* * *

Ratchet, who by all means should not be doing what he was doing because it would scare the space and time travelers even more than their original Ratchet, skipped down the corridor with a cheerful grin on his face.

Yes, skipped. Giant aliens made of metal can skip. Granted, not very well, but they can skip.

The white and pale pink doctor skipped down the corridor back to the medical bay, all ignoring the 'grumpy grump grumps' that were giving him mistrustful eyes and a very wide berth.

Berth as in area from them to him, not a giant alien bed that is wider than it is long.

Stepping into the med bay, all in its cheery fun-looking colors. One wall had a sparkling depicting a sun and stars, another a alien planet with happy and cheery creatures and bright white smiles. The other two were filled top to bottom, wall to wall with cabinets, medical tools and other miscellaneous items.

Overall, it seemed more like a sparkling daycare center than a med bay. At least, until you look at all the dried energon on the berths, walls, ceiling and anywhere else, dried, old and fresh. Dripping and crusting, faded and bright. I think you get the idea.

Ratchet hummed, as best as he could, and trotted over to a small computer set up with Teletraan -1.

"Medical officer Ratchet giving the weekly report, part 167.3. After a long week of battling injuries that were icky and sticky, and overall gross, I have finally got to my last patient!" Ratchet hopped over to an adjacent table.

"As always, I must started with an exam." Ratchet powered up the bright blue saw and gained a maniacal smirk.

Sideswipe did not looked amused, strapped down on the table. Sideswipe hadn't even gone to battle, but most of the warriors used him as a scapegoat when they lost, so he had minor injuries. His red optics staring impassively at Ratchet, meeting his optics in defiance. Ratchet stepped closer, grin getting wider and wider, the red hin his optics blinking in an out of red and blue.

Ratchet stood next to Sideswipe, the saw buzzing and spinning wildly. It suddenly powered off and Ratchet pouted, "Siders, you're no fun!"

"Don't call me that." Sideswipe deadpanned, still meeting the doctor's optics.

"You're suppose to be looking at me with fear!" Ratchet spun around, beginning his rant with a crazy look in his multicolored optics "The delicious fear, If I could eat that, I would be happy! OH the fear, the horror, oh how pure it is! No one can fake fear if they really are fearful! It's the only emotion that shows its head without a shield! The emotion that I can use to my full ability! Twist it into my own image, make it my own to control." Ratchet turned and half-straddled Sideswipe, grabbing his shoulders, Optics widening to show his truthfulness, " Doesn't it excite you? Gets your energon pumping? It's a drug, a drug all my own!

"I can create different concoctions with different scenarios, create it stronger, weaker, whatever I please! It's the one thing everyone has, no one is fearless! I just have to find that fear, exploit it, and use it!" Ratchet tilted his helm, moving closer to Sideswipe's own, "Don't you agree, Siders? It's so simple, anyone can do it!"

"And I would prefer if you stop making out with me." It wasn't Sideswipe on the table who spoke, and Ratchet spun around to see a bright red mech with a saucy smirk, leaning on the doorframe.

The red mech was the same in frame as Sideswipe, just colors and attitude different. Legs crossed, the same with the arms as he waited for a certain something, "Not that I don't mind it, but it's certainly a little weird seeing a girly Ratchet try to make out with another me. 'Pecially since y'all are kinda crazy."

Ratchet jumped back, "Girly! Girly, girly you say." Ratchet cried additionally, "What is wrong with color? It's no crime."

The red mech narrowed his optics, but the grin was still on his faceplates, "You have pink on your frame."

"It's not pink! It's lightest red!"

The new mech moved his head a bit, "They have a word for that, called pink." He stopped leaning on the doorframe and instead popped his hip. "Anyways, I don't care 'bout that. You can be neon yellow for all that I care, but do you know where I am? 'Cause everyone is different here." He looked around, "So I came to the only place that I thought wouldn't change, but I see not even the Hatchet is safe."

" **DON'T CALL ME THAT**!" Ratchet screeched, louder than Starscream on a horrible day. "I don't dismantle bots, I don't! I fix them then put them back together, I DON'T DISMANTLE THEM!"

"Sideswipe, we need to leave." A bright yellow mech suddenly stood behind his brother. "Wheeljack got the thing fixed and Spike is waiting for us." He looked at the crumbling sanity of the medical officer, before the mech strapped on the table and back at Ratchet. "Why is he lightish red?"

"Pink, Sunny, pink." Sideswipe told him, "Anyways, let's get going bro, sure 'Bee is waiting for us! Sure Wheeljack got enough power to jump us backwards from the loop?" Sideswipe followed his brother.

"He tapped into the power supply of the ship. Might be a month or two before they get it back online and yes. You need to stop watching Phineas and Ferb."

"Hey, the dimension travel applies! I know it! They had the right idea!"

"They are fictional characters."

"Your a fictional character!"

"That doesn't even make sense! What are you on?"

"I might've stole about twenty cubes of highgrade and thought the best place to store them was my tank. I think I'm starting to feel the affects now."

"You're an idiot."

"Two halves."

"Two _opposite_ halves. That means I'm the smart one."

"...Touché. Anyways, do you know how _crazy_ it could be if there were, like, another Sideswipe here, at this moment, because another Wheeljack tried to make a compact space bridge too? And this one _isn't_ an ass?"

"That'll be horrible because there'll be three of you."

Sideswipe, who was stuck on the berth sighed, what was with Dimension travellers anyway? There's nothing exciting here. It's just a planet full of dirt and rock.

Wait-did the other him just say Spike? Spike as in the Decepticon's pet? That means that they liked squishies, and autobots don't like squishies but they were a lot different from himself, so that means their Optronix likes squishies and Prime doesn't which is kinda weird if not.

Wait, that means-

"Ready for the exam?" The buzz saw started up again.

Sideswipe doesn't like to admit it, but he screamed like a little femme.

* * *

 _Next chapter: Sideswipe finally has his chance to beat the scrap outta Optronix. Optronix wants to capture him...Yeah...Good thing for Wheeljack!_

* * *

 **Surpisingly, I don't have anything to say at the moment.**

 **I'm done. See ya.**


	4. Chapter 4

\- Update Feb 2 2018 -

Hello everyone! Sorry for abandoning you all for a few years! I don't have good news in that I'm going to be updating this story, however I would like to explain to you all for my unexplained absence as quickly as possible. If you would like a somewhat more in depth explanation on to my whereabouts, my profile has more info. The shortest story I'm going to tell you is that I've moved sites, as this one's layout started to get more and more confusing to work with and the stories becoming more and more lackluster.

Good news though! I'm writing again, and perhaps this story will be one of rewritten ones on the new site! If you would like, I would love to see you on AO3, with my new username being DocHolliday! Just send me a PM there and we can chat! If not, then perhaps this is farewell, and I hope that your life becomes one of fulfillment and you win the lottery!

Thats all! Ja Ne!


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